Wee-Bit Misanthropic

Uggh…this has got to be the most effeminate subject I have ever written on. Given the subject matter, I am thinking of changing the blog’s name to ‘Growing Ovaries’. At least I don't have to let go of perfectionism—I’m already a ‘good-enoughist’. I need to be more mindful of the ‘negative self-talk’ I give myself. More tied to the present moment too. Meditation would probably help Being ‘mindful of our common humanity’ is not a strong area for me either. Not so much humanity as people with my neurological condition. There are many in my group with the same challenges I have. All the more reason to attend the various support groups I’m in—to strengthen the bonds that are there. 0Self-kindness…uggh…I get an F. Are we done? ‘Acceptance is the heart of compassion’ writes BB. I need to be more of a friend to myself and help accept the situation for what it is. I should treat myself as I would a good friend, with warmth, understanding, and empathy. . Yuck.

Authenticity also demands that we stand for our values. This is my list of values. 1 honesty 2 loyalty 3 respect 4 responsibility 5 spirituality 6 compassion 7 hope 8 courage 9 gratitude The first four are ingrained in how I live. The last 5 are'soul's work' as BB writes. The last two especially require major work on my part.

For me the three words boil down to vulnerability, acceptance and openness/  I missed an opportunity yesterday to expose my vulnerability (or be courageous).  It occurred when  I refused help from several people [despite desperately needing it]  Have to remember Until we can receive with an open heart, we cannot give with an open heart.  When we attach judgement to receiving help, we attach judgement to giving it. This kind of thing happens often at the store.  Next time I will be ready for it!