My visual conception of Wholehearted living

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Wholehearted Living by Joe. on Scribd

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Wee-Bit Misanthropic

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Changed the blog name today because I don't think introversion covers it`I DON'T hate humanity (even a bit) but I DO get very moody, very depressed, and very anxious. Sometimes [often] I just prefer being alone I think owning misanthropy will make me more authentic.
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A big part of my misanthropy is my social anxiety. i worry about other people's expectations and judgements. When really anxious, i face two questions [that I imagine other people have]-- "What is HE doing here?" vs. "Where has he BEEN?" I end up not going or hiding in my apartment. A lot of this has to do with my terrible driving and even worse hearing. When I ask myself 'Would I go if I could magically transport myself there and communicate perfectly, would I go?' the answer is almost always yes. I have convinced myself to look at hearing aids again. My driving and speech require that I 'push through' the anxiety like I did when I went away to university.
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Uggh…this has got to be the most effeminate subject I have ever written on. Given the subject matter, I am thinking of changing the blog’s name to ‘Growing Ovaries’. At least I don't have to let go of perfectionism—I’m already a ‘good-enoughist’. I need to be more mindful of the ‘negative self-talk’ I give myself. More tied to the present moment too. Meditation would probably help Being ‘mindful of our common humanity’ is not a strong area for me either. Not so much humanity as people with my neurological condition. There are many in my group with the same challenges I have. All the more reason to attend the various support groups I’m in—to strengthen the bonds that are there. 0Self-kindness…uggh…I get an F. Are we done? ‘Acceptance is the heart of compassion’ writes BB. I need to be more of a friend to myself and help accept the situation for what it is. I should treat myself as I would a good friend, with warmth, understanding, and empathy. . Yuck.
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